Best Kid Quotes.

Thanks to my sex ed class, every science lesson now contains at least 3 questions on sex, babies and anything that might make Madam Miriam blush or snort.

"Do bees have vaginas?"

"Why do the worker bees go out and work instead of staying home to breastfeed their babies?"

"Do flies have vaginas?"

Do frogs have vaginas?"

"Can mens get pregnant from sexing in the anoose?"

"Can a man and a goat make a baby?"

"Madam, is it true the plants are also making the sex? Do the plants have vagina?"


Confidence boosters:

Upon hearing that I am not married and dont have a baby: "Ah, Madam, I am sorry, I will pray to God he will give you husband and many babies and you will be happy!"

"Madam, you are very strong and fat."

"Ah, Madam, your hair is grey like an old womans but your arms are fat like a baby!"

"Madam! Madam! Can I squeeze your pimple and make it go pop?"

"Madam, your valentine, he is in your country?" "Yes." "What if he finds a wife while you are gone?"

"Why is your face red and shiny?"

"You are very fat Madam! Very fat. Yes, very very fat."

Random weirdness:

"Madam, I will not see you on Monday. The man on television said the world it will end on Saturday, so I am not doing my homework."

"When I am grow up I wish for to be like God."

"Madam!!!!! MADAM!!!!! This boy has given me a piece of paper with my name on it and I do not know why!"

(when asked to write a letter to a bank manager as an english exercise) "Madam, I must go home." "Why Shaban, whats wrong?" (kid on point of tears.) "I must go to ask my mother: I do not know the name of my bank manager Madam!"

"This one is polluting!" (Kenyan slang for farting, a regular cry in Olives classrooms.)

"Madam, Mr Joseph he told us when mzungu pollutes it is smelling like cake." Whole class: "Pollute Madam! POLLUTE!"